Marrying a man who is not from the same place as me is serving to be a really hard situation for a lot of different reasons.
Now at this moment, we are in Hawaii (where I am from and where he got stationed). We met here, almost 3 years ago, fell in love & decided to get married. It all happened really quickly. There was no time to make sure the future was going to line up, we just knew what we wanted in the moment & for it to be forever.
At our wedding, his mother and sister got very upset with me. It started with his sister literally bitching at me because I was going to steal her brother away. At that time, I was thinking they already lost him. He joined the military 2 years before he met me, losing him was not my fault. But she went on to say that I was a bitch just like her step mom & so on. So I let her rant, because she was 16 years old & hurt by a lot of people. Plus, I could relate. I had a similar upbringing. A lack of father. Close to my brother. So then, their mother decided to get defensive of her son as well. Why? I have no fucking clue. So, that’s when I snapped. & I bitched her out big time. It’s one thing to have a confused teenager go rage on you, but a grown ass women, uh uh.
After that was cleared up & my husband & I got to be alone. We had a talk. & during that talk I promised him that when he got out, we could move back to his home for 3 years, since we were going to be in Hawaii for three years. Only fair thing I could think to say. & at the time, that was not a problem. But now that our little munchkin decided to give us a surprise, it was starting to cause problems. I no longer thought it was fair for us to only be there or here. I was trying to lower my wager since my son would only have a year here with my family. I was trying to explain that we needed a common ground place that was close enough to both sides of the family. But, all he was hearing was that I hated his family! It was all just confusing. & it really is still a mess we are trying to figure out. But now we are staying in the military, so humph.
Another reason that things get tough is because the two places we are from are very different places. I’m from Hawaii, he’s from a small town in Montana. He’s all about hunting & camping & I’m all about concerts & the beach. He hates the sand & is scared of sharks. I hate being alone, & I’m scared of wild wolves & bears & snakes & spiders…. You get my point. We’ve tried different things for each other, but I think it’s easier for an extrovert to become introverted, than an introvert to become extroverted. Therefore I could conform to his likes and needs, better than he could be comfortable with mine.
Those are just a couple of challenges we face at the moment. Along with decided what our next move is with the military.
What challenges do you all face in your relationships? Are you from the same place? Does that seem to make things easier in your opinion?